If I’m being completely honest, I spent most of last week in survival mode. Flight or freeze are my usual go to’s and last week it was flight. It’s not that surprising since I think I’ve spent a lot of my life running away from things. Flight is the need to do something, and the inability to be at rest. Ministry was great, but when we would get home I kept finding myself leaving. Nowhere felt safe to me, and it felt like there wasn’t anywhere I could go, so I just kept walking. When I finally mustered up the strength to go back into the house a lot of the time I would end up just leaving again. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t form thoughts or think clearly. After a few days I was absolutely exhausted. At that point I started to piece together what might be going on, but I didn’t know how to make it better. I reached out to a friend who helped me regulate my nervous system. Finally, by Friday I was able to rest and recover from the week. God was so kind, and He met me exactly where I was with grace and patience. During my quiet time, I read over a passage that a good friend shared with me a few weeks before, Psalm 16. New verses stood out to me that hadn’t before.
“Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge”
“LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure”
“I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,”
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
Psalm 16: 1, 5, 8, 9, 11
It was a much needed gentle reminder that He alone is my strength and refuge. No matter where I am I can feel safe because I am safe and secure in Him, and that’s all that matters.
On Saturday, we got to go to the beach! Praise the Lord for the beach! We had such a great day spending time with each other. The Lord showed up in so many ways throughout that day. We got to pray with our taxi driver, and for a man at the bus station while we were waiting for the bus.
Something crazy happened when I was swimming in the ocean. I got caught in a rip current! It took me a minute to realize what was happening. I was trying to figure out why I wasn’t able to swim back in the direction of the shore. I was like, wait, is this real? Am I actually in a rip current right now? And I tried to swim out of it and couldn’t. Initially, I wanted to panic, because that’s your body’s first response of “oh no what do I do now?” But then I took a moment and went straight to God like, “Okay, God. I’m in a rip current. Now what?” I feel like He gave me so much peace in that moment and reminded me that I do know what to do because I’ve actually done a lot of research on rip currents when I thought I was going to move to Puerto Rico. I knew you initial instinct of fighting against it want going to work and would only make you exhausted. I just had to let the ocean take me where it was going to take me, and try to swim parallel to the beach until I could get out of it. I eventually found a rock to stand on and stood there until the waves started pushing me back to the shore, and that’s how I got out of it. God literally planted my feet on this rock. My body’s initial response was survival mode, but instead I went to the Lord. It was just such a cool way for God to teach me and show me that He is my rock and my refuge and I am safe with Him.
I am so thankful for all of the little ways God is taking care of me through this season. I’m thankful for everything He is teaching me. I’m thankful for the ways He is choosing to address some lessons fairly quickly, so I can move forward. Some of the things He is teaching me in one week would’ve taken me months back at home to grasp. I’m thankful I chose to rest secure in God as my refuge and safety that day, and I pray I will continue to do so all the days of my life.
All my love,
Laura
Side note: The word rock has been an ever present theme for this year, and I’m excited for all of the reminders and ways God is showing me that He is my rock.
To our lovely daughter, Laura. We pray you continue to be a quick study in the Lord and his provision for you during this journey you are on. We know he is with you, shielding you, protecting you and growing you into his instrument of faith, love and service😘
Be strong and courageous, dear friend, because you are in His hands. There is a 5 day reading plan called, “Waiting on God” by Charles Stanley, on the Bible app. It is encouraging, inspiring and full of great truths. I hope you can check it out. We miss you on Monday nights, Laura, but LOVE hearing of the powerful ways God is working in your life! Enjoy the journey🚶♀️